Breaking In Is Hard To Do

by Niki Coyne

But Splitting With Your Trainer Can Be Painless

And you can bet that as sure as the sun rises, you will eventually be on both the giving and receiving ends of the break up stick at some point in your life. Ask any of the unfortunate, yet numerous, souls who have lived to tell of it, and you will know that none of the anguish involved in a break-up quite compares to the sting of seeing an ex move on like it ain’t nothing. Did you feel the collective shudder? And that’s just romantic relationships.

As if navigating the various diverging streams of love’s rapids wasn’t enough, we also have fallouts with friends, business partners. even hairdressers (Wanted subtle highlights. Got white racing stripes.) But in the horse world there’s one breakup that’s trickier than all others  – the trainer.

So just how does one go about switching horse trainers? The task seems simple enough. And by simple I mean absolutely horrifying. Not only are you calling it quits with the trainer you currently have your horse with, but to put the icing on the cake you just baked, you’re revealing the fact that you have already found someone else better for the job.

For answers and advice, we go straight to the source. Trainer Wayne Halvorson weighs in.

Communication is Key

“There should be an open dialogue between a trainer and his customers,” suggests Halvorson. Long before a decision is reached to leave a trainer, you should start talking frankly about any concerns on your mind. Whether it’s a competition conflict, a scheduling thing, a pet peeve in their treatment of your animal or even bad breath, bring it up!  This way both parties have a general understanding of where each other stands, and there aren’t any big surprises. This is particularly beneficial for situations in which a client’s valid frustration can be easily fixed by a tweak in the training agenda.

Say, for instance, you are happy with the training, but you want to attend shows that your trainer does not normally enter. According to Halvorson, many trainers will alter their program to a certain degree if it makes sense for the rest of their customers, and if not they may work out a deal to hitch a ride with a trusted trainer that does go to those shows. Or, if a feasible solution cannot be reached, a good trainer will even help place you and your horse with another that meets your needs. Unfortunately we all know that every situation isn’t quite so seamless and may involve a bit less understanding between trainer and client. Regardless, the general rule is that you must let the trainer know what’s going on, and why. And that means…

No shady business!

Leaving a trainer cold turkey in a cloud of dust is a big no-no and will only hurt you in the future. The saying “treat others how you want to be treated” applies here. No one appreciates being blindsided. As formidable as it may seem, in order to avoid stepping on any toes and possibly shooting yourself in the foot, it is advisable that you inform your trainer of all your plans including those of the new trainer you intend to go with because…

It’s a small horse-world, after all.

Keep in mind that the world is small. The horse-world is even smaller and it only shrinks as your involvement in it grows. Trainers and judges are executive-members-of-the-board. Oh, and they’re all friends. Friends talk. Get my drift? One day when an ex-trainer is the tie-breaking judge at a competition…then you’ll truly appreciate the importance of a tactful breakup.

Halvorson offers some insight –

“If someone has been secretly making plans to leave one trainer and go with another, chances are that the plans aren’t as secret as he thinks. We horse trainers respect each other and are extremely reluctant to pull a horse out from under another without his knowledge. It’s common for a trainer to call another and make sure everything is kosher before taking on his soon to be ex-client. Yes, we want customers, but we have to live in the industry and with our respective coworkers for the better part of our lives.”

Relationships Take Work

Nobody wants to become known as a “trainer-hopper,” so before you jump, weigh your options and make a decision with a cool head. In my experience, there’s no little-known trick to pulling it off with grace. The best advice is to do your research before getting involved with a trainer in the first place. Give the relationship honesty and respect. And get past rough patches by sticking to the relationship mantra: Communicate, communicate, communicate. Communicate some more. Also, flowers are nice.

After all that, if it is truly time to dump your trainer, consider doing it in a public place.
You don’t want things to get ugly.